You win some. you lose some

It was only appropriate that when I turned on my iPod to escape the afternoon's events, Robbie William's rendition of "You win some, You lose some" blared in my ears. Fitting enough, for sure, and it certainly helped me put today in perspective. After all, life in Korea (or anywhere) can't really be all peaches and roses, can it?

I find it amazing how humbling teaching first, second, and third graders can be. Humbling in the sense that it can bring you to your knees in the realization that you have absolutely no clue how to control the little ankle biters and that the degree you earned offers no support in the classroom. I'll be the first to admit: I don't know kids. I don't have them; I'm usually not around them; and quite frankly, they scare me a little. Having said that, I really was (and still am) excited at the challenge of teaching them. And up until today, it's been good. Sure, I have some classroom management issues and I'm not the most creative creature in the forest, but with the help of my awesome coworkers, it's been all good.

Ahhh, but today. As part of our schedules, the English teachers are required to teach four hours (two hour blocks twice a week) of an afterschool program. Topics were chosen a bit haphazardly and I selected creative writing, with the understanding that I would teach students in third, fourth, fifth, and maybe sixth grades, with perhaps a higher command of the English language. Oh, to have that understanding again. In reality, it turned out to be 18 first and second graders with a wide range of English-speaking abilities.


Have you ever spent 100 minutes with 18 six- and seven- year olds?


Aya -- so to wrap this up as it is quite late, my head teacher "assisted" me today (second time meeting these kids).. I say, "assisted" because in reality, he led the class. Thankfully so. There are a couple of things with this that I initially listed, but deleted here because I'm not quite so sure I want to share all that information with the world :) Anyway, the primary note to self is this:

I don't like feeling like I'm not in control... whether be it in a class, in a personal situation, or what have you. I should have full command (well, maybe not FULL command). And when there's someone else in the room, albeit to help ME!, I wither into a wilted rose plant seemingly unworthy of water. Ok, so *maybe* that's slightly melodramatic, but I'm supposed to be into creative writing, n'est pas? Don't misintrepret me; I'm really not a Type-A control freak, but when everything seems to be spinning OUT of control, all you can do is hold on to a shred of controllness and work it as best you can!

I don't even know if this makes sense.

*end senseless rant*

Post-script: My afterschool class has officially been "reworded" or changed? to Translation. I'll spare you the details, but the main message is that the 18 kids will be split into two groups (WHEW).