I *heart* being groped... by Korean men

So here's an unexpected twist to my relatively mellow day: I was groped by my Korean landlord. A few times. I returned home after work and dinner with friends, dropped my bag off, and immediately headed back out into the seemingly neverending freezing rain to grab a bottle of water from GS25 (Gs 25 = 7-Eleven).

Halfway across the road, a man approached me. He looked vaguely familiar and I remembered, "this is the dude that "installed" my fire extinguisher a month ago." Talking in Korean, he graciously offered me a bite of his fried and battered corn dog (oh so appealing) to which I politely declined. I got the impression he wanted to show me something in my apartment, so that's where we headed. As he talked, he gestured. Frequently, his finger or hand would brush my breast. The first time it happened, I didn't pay any attention. It happens to everyone. The second time, I thought, "hmm, that's uncomfortable." And the third time, I almost decked him. Thereafter, any time he raised his hand to gesture, I danced around the room to avoid any contact. It didn't always work.

Fast forward: we're inside my apartment. He talks to me as though I understand, which truly, I think is great. He's so patient, and with an almost childlike naivety, I think expected me to just "get it." He's really rather nice. But with what could only be a blank stare, confused smile, and nervous laughter, I finally said, "I'm sorry. I have no clue what you're saying. You have no idea what I'm saying. Let me call a friend." (Flashback to using lifelines on the horrid TV show with Regis, I think... what the hell was it called? Something about being a millionaire?) Anyway, I called a Korean English teacher and she got on the phone with the guy.

Translation: Suzi, uhhh, I think he's really intoxicated. You should be careful because, you know what I mean, you're a girl. But anyway, he owns the building and just wants to say he's happy to be renting to you and that other residents say you're friendly (I do say "annyeonghaseyo" whenever I meet one). He also wants to make sure you're taking care of the place, blah blah blah. Oh, and don't touch the sprinkler in the kitchen that will put out a fire should one occur."

And that was it. Oh, wait... not so much. After hanging up, the landlord STILL stuck around...even after I opened my front door and basically said, get the hell out, dude. We're done here. Politely, of course. No, no. There was much more to be said and many more inappropriate hugs to hoist upon me. I think, though I can't be sure, he told me not to dry my clothes where I currently hang them. Somehow, he hugged me again, but this time, he pressed himself up against me and wouldn't let go (previously, he pushed up against me right as I dodged the clasping of his arms). Crafty little wrangler I am, I withered myself from his grasp and headed to the front door. STILL, he tried to stay. More talking. I think he professed his undying love for me. And then told me not to tell anyone. Charades really is an international language.

Fast forward: Second phone call to Korean English teacher friend. "Ahhh, friend, this guy is still here... can you find out what he's saying.?"

Translation: "He says you are very pretty and nice. He's very attracted to you. Do you know what I mean?" Uhhh, check. Got it. The manhandled hug cemented it for me, actually.

Meanwhile, my landlord finally left. Let me be clear, yes, the guy was drunk. Sure, he groped me. But he was so nice! I understand that saying how nice he is makes me sound like a total jackass, waiting to be a victim kind-of-girl, but that's not it at all... yes, I was creeped out, but I was never necessarily worried. A little creeped out, yeah. A little dirty? Yep. Even slightly violated. Fair enough. Had this EXACT same situation happened in the States, I would have called the cops instead of an intrepretor! Here, ahh, no worries. It's just a little soju. We all do insanely stupid shit when we drink soju. I'm sure when this guy is sober, all will be well with the world. And more importantly, he won't press his body against mine and touch my boobs. Because Buddha help him if he does... :)

Kimchi: Korea in your Kitchen

A funny ass skit from Steve Carell about kimchi... Kimchi is seriously served up at every Korean meal. After watching this, though, you may not know why!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Korea in Your Kitchen
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Spring is in the Air

How did a girl who journaled almost daily for fifteen years and collected 15 handwritten journals during that time morph into an English teacher in Korea who only updates her blog every few weeks? My knack for detailing daily events is dwindling when it should be peaking. How the hell will I ever write my Great American Non-fiction Novel? Discipline, I suppose, it will take. Or perhaps, good health! Yes, folks, I've returned to the land of the living after a seven-day stay in the hospital and three-day home rest following that. Finally, about two weeks ago, I rejoined my fellow teachers and the kids that I teach.

It was a little slow-going for me to get back in the swing of things (1 p.m. hit and I was ready for my nap!), but overall, it wasn't too bad. I finally felt well enough this weekend to venture out and about in Seoul and so after helping a friend move on Saturday, I went into Seoul on Sunday with Justin to see the springtime cherry blossoms.

Logic might have told some of you to bring a map of the area we were visiting, but, hey, logic schmalogic. Besides, I was armed with meaty information: the cherry blossoms were by a lake. Using our crafty navigational skills and rudimentary grasp of Korean, J and I finally found Seok Chun Lake.

With a Disney-inspired 'Magic Island' theme park in the middle of the lake, Seok Chun Lake is pretty damn big... and I loved the cherry blossoms everywhere. Although it was overcast, the temperature more than made up for it. In the last week, the temp has finally climbed over 65 degrees and it has felt GREAT!

Oh yes, and how could I forget. On Saturday, I went to a hair salon (not in Seoul, though) to have my gray hair dyed. Not a lick of English was spoken and the process of dying hair was .... not up to American expectations. The hair dresser seemed nice enough, but extremely haphazard in how she applied the dye. It wasn't until she zipped an aluminum bag over my head and steamed my hair that I began to worry. And while that turned out to be ok, the color of the dye did not. Before, my hair was brown and gray. Now, it's brown and orange. But, hey, those colors compliment each other, don't they? :)

Back to Sunday: I went bowling with new-found English teachers! It was very exciting. If you're wondering, the bowling system is the same, but there's no food or beer to be had in the hall. Boooo. Other than that, eight lanes, same balls, same crappy bowling score (for me, anyway!). You know, same, same.

Work news: Apparently, we're hiking a mountain together on Friday. Nature is great, don't get me wrong, and I like hiking just fine... On my own terms. And in my own forest or on my own mountain (by that, I mean, not with 40 other people in my immediate vicinty with whom I should engage in small talk). Afterward, we're having dinner. As Katrina so eloquently put it: "There better be soju involved!" Agreed!

In other news, I've been trying to book a May flight to Japan for the last five days, but everything is booked. Turns out I want to fly on a major Korean, Japanese, and Chinese holiday: Children's Day. Not quite sure the origins of the holiday or the specifics, but I'll check it out and get back to you. The good news of it all is that I have a five-day (Wed-Sun) break from work the first week of May. Sweet! The better news is that a friend of mine found me a flight leaving on May 6 to Okinawa, so I will finally get to see my sister, bro-in-law, nieces and nephew after more than a year and a half!